Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
7. An Answer
The diagnosis was confirmed through an MRI.
Trauma re-wires the human brain, so that the neurological pathways are altered. Basically it changes us, even in very tiny ways that are not obvious to others.
For example: whenever I find a onesie that has no metal – no metal snaps, no metal buttons, nothing metal, I immediately think: Little Lion could wear this for an MRI!
Despite that he doesn’t need any more MRIs, or isn’t going for any new procedures.
It is the new path my brain jumps to: no metal = good for MRI.
And I’m a little awkwardly happy that Little Lion wouldn’t have to go in naked, swaddled up in his blanket.
Which is actually what he DID have to do, because I was distracted and didn’t remember that your body/clothes cannot have any metal for an MRI.
Poor kid. And I always feel bad about that: little ear plugs taped on his ears, being swaddled at tight as possible so he couldn’t wiggle during the exam and stripped down to only a diaper because your silly mother forgot about the metal snaps on your clothes.
That event sums up so much of our time in the hospital; the picture of Little Lion struggling, uncomfortable and crying, taken from my arms by a nurse for yet another test, how helpless and disordered I was, how much I learned and how I felt powerless and encouraged at the same time.
And then, we got the diagnosis.
It’s a strange sort of relief when a doctor announces they have insight into your little one’s condition.
Relief, because now treatment can begin!
But a sorrow, too, because they’ve uncovered an illness, a disease, disorder, condition, etc.
It is two-sided: you need to know, you are desperate to know, but it can also be devastating to know.
Little Lion has pan-hypopituitarism. Basically, his pituitary gland (the control center for hormones in the body) isn’t working properly. That means that his body is deficient in many of his hormones.
Little Lion’s condition is often-life long and has no cure. But it is manageable, and there is treatment.
8. Prognosis
Little Lion will be on steroids until God completely heals him, fixes the tiny pituitary gland back behind his eyes.
The lack of stress hormone was the key, his liver was shutting down because he needed cortisol. He had apnea (the episodes where he struggled to breathe and turned blue-ish) because of low-blood sugar related to cortisol deficiency.
The first doctor, the obstetrician in Tanzania, who said he had low blood sugar and administered a sugar solution probably saved Little Lion’s life that night.
First he pushed him into the world, then he kept him alive his first night in the world.
At the NICU all investigations were regarding lungs and breathing. Turns out, it actually was blood sugar, low stress.
Little Lion showed immediate improvement on steroids. So much so, that in two days we were released from the hospital.
It was like a corset being unlaced from my waist – I could breathe, relax my shoulders, I could collapse a little bit.
We were sent with boxes and bottles of steroids, medicine and vitamins. And the baby swallowed them, and drank his milk, and slept in peace.
My mother and sister flew out from America to visit us. They brought me homemade chocolate chip cookies and toys for Little Lion. They cuddled him and got me outside for a little while every day.
It was uplifting to be close to my family, especially during a cold winter in a strange city.
After another 6 weeks, and a few follow-up appointments, it was determined that Little Lion’s liver was improving, his anemia gone, and he was stable on steroids.
I ordered 2 pill crushers, a travel first-aid pouch and organized his many steroids in the luggage: at last, we were going home!
Our carry-on luggage was almost entirely his vitamins and steroids, his diaper bag stuffed to exploding with clothes, baby formula and our passports. I looked ridiculous with all the bags and the baby, but we managed to arrive safely back in Tanzania.
Little Lion hadn’t grown very much since when we left, but he was stronger, eating better and was no longer yellow.
It was a thousand times more difficult than I anticipated, traveling alone with a sick baby to a strange country for medical care. Not like we had a ton of options, however.
But, in the end we discovered Little Lion’s health condition. And he’s going to be okay.
We still have to manage his steroids, and getting growth hormones was an uphill battle for nearly half a year. Every 3 months we travel 5 hours to see a specialist doctor, and I am way too paranoid about his growth rate and compare him in size to every baby I come across.
But, he laughs all the time and he is walking. He’s a happy baby. He loves to eat bananas and mangoes. And while sometimes I still struggle to give him his nightly injection, every day all of it gets easier and easier. And he’s going to be okay.
And he is healthy, and he is growing. He’s adored by his brothers and sisters. He’s possibly the most loved baby in the world.
And he’s going to be okay.
